List of Things I Fear/ sort-a Fear/ am bothered by...

When I was little I was afraid of clowns, santa claus and stepping on feces. I was also afraid of this bitter, wrinkly, old woman who lived in our neighborhood and who believed in rouging her cheeks daily with bright red blush that made her look permanently angry. She would make me and my brother walk on her back, and I worried I would fall on her and crush her to death. She was little, brittle and had skin so loose it was a treacherously slippery walk each time.

Times have changed, I have a new list now.

• Riding Old, Clunky Elevators Alone: If I must ride these cranky, smelly and glorified box-on-a-string, I would rather ride along with another soul. I reason--if it does get stuck, we can put our heads together and plot our way to freedom.
  
• People who Display Excessive Saliva whilst Talking: **shudder**I find this nothing short of vomitous. Those who know me, also know I am deadly serious. Swallow before conversing with me--preferably in-audibly because that's gross too.
  
• Barking Dogs that are Behind Me: I worry my butt will be chomped on any second as I've seen in endless movie flicks. Why is the animal still barking? I usually flee with my ass tucked in.
  
• That One Guy who Stares Too Long on the Metro: What's with him? Quit it. Gaze elsewhere. You are creeping me out.
  
• Unknown Sleeping Surfaces: Thanks to my cousin, I am convinced I will develop pimples the minute my head hits a strange pillow for a good night's sleep.
  

Well...I am afraid of heights too, but that's boring. Who cares if I cannot climb ladders without the wobbly legs? Also afraid of death, cancer, violence and of course, large, wild animals lunging at me and clawing me to death. And also David Blain. But who isn't?